CHAOTIC
by scabiorsnatcher
Summary: A short drabble about Rumpelstiltskin, Henry and Emma from Mr Gold's point of view.


This is a short drabble about Rumpelstiltskin; Disclaimer: I do not own anything, I just wrote this in a haze.

_**Chaotic**_

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><p>They say I'm Chaotic Evil, and that she is Chaotic good. They also say Henry is Chaotic neutral. I've always wanted best for the boy. I'm not gonna lie. I had the boy taken to this town because I wanted him near, but keeping him myself would arouse suspicion. And besides, I didn't trust myself to be capable of caring of the child. Regina had wanted some company, had wanted a baby. At the time it had seemed a brilliant outcome. My son close to me and my lady far away from destroying town. Regina was happy, I was happy and Henry would for a while be happy. Until he started to look out for his real mom.<p>

I'd always known he would. Never had I guessed though it would be this soon. The boy was hardly nine years old when he started talking about having a real 'mom'. I let him, Regina let him, the sheriff let him. At his tenth birthday, however, he surprised us all by revealing he had found out his mom's name.

It made me smirk.

The boy was clever in a way I had hoped for ever since I planted him as a seed inside his mother's womb. The daughter of a princess and the saviour of us all. What best way was there to survive in the world than to not be on anyone's side, yet to be involved with everyone? I had to keep Regina as a friend for I admired her and she was powerful. I would lead the perfect little life in her own fashioned world and would have nothing to complain about.

The enemy now was Snow White and her family. To be more precise, the enemy was her daughter. I had predicted this child would grow up and come to save the day. Happy endings for all. I can't deny I didn't want a happy ending for me as well. I secretly and silently encouraged the fates to have this marvellous child save the day. And as soon as I found out that Emma had been born I made my plan.

She was only seventeen when I asked Regina permission to leave the town. The curse has everyone in its power and it seemed as if I was included in it too. The evil Queen must have thought she had won by doing so, but she didn't fully rule me yet. According to my calendar the child of Snow White and Prince Charming, a daughter, was to turn eighteen soon, and I had to find her before that.

So I asked Regina 'please' and she had to let me go.

I thwarted the curse and found Emma within a few days' time. All the while I'd known her whereabouts, ever since her birth I'd been following her with any tools provided to me to see how she was doing and where she would be.

I met Emma for the first time at a party. She was half drunk and laughing with people she called friends but hardly seemed to know. Rebellious, disappointed in life, abandoned. She seemed to feel all of this and for once enjoyed this evening of partying where she could forget her worries. I decided to make her enjoy it to the fullest as I mixed her drink with something strong and waited for her to fall prey.

As till this day she can't seem to remember who the father of her child really was. I haven't heard her talk about him myself, but a little birdie told me she had said him to be handsome and young. And ever since the birdie told me, as I stared into the mirror in the mornings, I would think how wonderful strong the drug must have been for the young girl to think of this fifty-year old looking man to be handsome and young.

Henry's hair was slick and brown like mine. The moment he was born I took him away, without Emma ever seeing me or knowing it was I who took our son. I, the true father.

Regina had asked for a baby so it all made sense. She had been complaining about company and loneliness for as far as I could recall but I always ever told her to bear with. I would say she wasn't truly alone and that I was around for her. After fifteen years of loneliness she wasn't able to swallow that excuse and I told her to buy a pet. The first one, a pony, died. She then planted the apple tree on top of his grave in the garden. Seventeen years had passed and I told her I'd find a solution. Eighteen years had passed and I suggested adopting a baby couldn't do any harm. And so, by asking her permission 'please' to leave the town and fetch her a child, I brought her Henry.

I knew I brought destruction upon this world by bringing the wrecker's son here. I knew if Henry had inherited any capacities of me it would make him nifty and smart. I knew bringing him meant that Regina would lose, no matter what. But he was my son, and though I could not raise him I wanted to be with him.

I was selfish, I admit. But selfishness is in my nature.

I guess my family can be called Chaotic. And as Chaotic is defined to be we're all scrambled. Together, we are, but not really. I can see Emma walking down the main street and long to be near her. I see Henry dragged by the arm as Regina scolds him, and wish to tell him that he's mine even though I know I'm the man he despises most. I see myself in the mirror and recognise a human while I know I'm not. And I can only wonder if all pieces will fit together one time. If we'll change from being Chaotic. If we'll form one; a family, one day.

Knowing myself I hold little hope.


End file.
